Part 15

I'll start with a blow to the face and then attempt to stop his retaliatory onslaught with my newly acquired Dwarven shield that I affectionately refer to as "Farley"

It's a little odd that even though I swing my sword from right to left across the screen, they always recoil in the opposite direction. But that's less important than thrilling news of my victory over the over-sized midget. It did not come cheaply, and I am now down a few delicious roots. If these trends continue I may have to start snacking on my travelling companion. And I'm not even Ukrainian!

Who's that hiding behind all that teleportationy glitter? I sure as shit hope it's not...

Ah Hamburgers. If isn't short bus edition dear abby

Fingers crossed he says "an axe to my massive face hole"

Must have drifted off there. What he actually says is "Bring Me the Heads of three things long dead". What a brain teasingly tough riddle. Hmm, what have I come across in great numbers that could possibly fit this stringent criteria the Throblin provided? I'm beginning to think he's got a little crush going with the way he's hounding me. Now to think of a delicate way to try and extricate myself from this conversation

As delicate as it is tactful. No wonder I was kicked out of model UN for being far too good for the rest of the class to hope to compete with

And you all through I was wasting my time by scooping up each and every one of the 350 skulls I've come across so far! Now I've got a monopoly, and I intend to squeeze every last ounce of goodness out of it that I can. Should I tell him, or let him sit and stew?

Who the hell ratted me out? I swear to sewer christ Farley if you fucked me on this one these sewers will be your grave. I've killed before for less, and I'm jonesing to kill at least one of every species while I'm down here

I'll give you the skulls, but it's in your best interest to just give me my reward and be off like a tiny wire on the Challenger launch

What's it going to be? New sword? Some delicious shit-tree root? Another magical item?

A key...shaped like a...pink triangle. Look, maybe I should've been clearer from the start, but I'm not really that interested you outside of a being a friend..or, well, at all really. Thanks for the not so subtle key, though

I can tell by the way he leaves without saying a word that I hurt his feelings. It's going to be a little awkward if I ever see him again, but I can't have Farley getting the wrong idea and going back to his people to tell tells of the heroic adventurer Drake and his inter-species fling with a...goblaerie? Faelin? Just what the toilet water jesus is that guy? If he's a guy at all...

We're both in such poor shape we're lucky that toe stubbing didn't finish us off. Good thing there's a pink fountain on the way back to the erotic wall

I'm back, baby! I'm going to tweak this shit like fresh but barely functioning ubuntu install involving a wireless network card. But after that's done it'll be time to find out exactl what those drain controls do other than cause massive amounts of personal satisfaction

Oooooooh, drainage. With those two walls out of the way I can finally forge on to the last, hopefully enemy free section of the sewers. That scroll I read earlier that talked about a monster that killed the remaining Stonekeep men was probably just a script for a local theatre group's edgy new play satirizing the Shadow King's apocalypse

What is this monstrosity and why is it eyeballing me like I was a japanese school girl who hadn't finished her homework the night before because she was too busy battling panty thieves and dealing with a gangly neighbour who suffered from constant volcanic nosebleeds whenever she bends over in front of him